Thursday, January 05, 2006

Gina and the rest of the day

Saw Gina today for the first time in a month. We got into a fight last time and I wondered if it might be awkward today. Thought maybe she might not even come over. But she did and it was awesome.

Tom, myself and a few others went to the club on a Friday after work last month. Everyone got very drunk and a bit belligerent. Especially Tom. He can get out of control when he drinks. Gina was spending time with all her rich friends that night and that pissed him off.
"You're evil and I hate you," he told her. Not something you want to say to a really sweet girl.

She and I had some words--I was pretty drunk and upset that she wouldn't spend more time with me.
"How much do I have to give you to sit with me?" I demanded.
She looked pissed. "I don't want you to give me anything. I don't think of you like that."
Tom threw a $10 bill at her. "Dance, bitch, dance!" he yelled. Not good.
Gina threw the bill back at him.
"But you have to dance," he said. "It's your job."
"I don't HAVE to do anything!" she said as she stood up.
Gina looked at me and said, "I like you better when you're sober. You have this look of hate in your eyes."
A few more words were spoken before we left, thought I don't recall what they were.

But there was Gina today, all sweet and pretty.
"That was a horrible night," she said. "I had so many men asking for me and I didn't have time for everyone. I really didn't know what to do."
Tom stood up and reached out his hand, "I'm so sorry for the things I said. I was very drunk." They shook and made up.

Gina sat down beside me. "I wanted to call you to apologize but I couldn't find your number. And when I finally did find it I figured it was too late. I didn't see you for the longest time and assumed you just weren't coming back."

I felt like an excited teen sitting next to her. It had been so long.
"Can you flash me?" I asked.
Gina giggled.
"Quick," I said, "while nobody's looking."
She burst out laughing. "Why does it matter if anyone's looking? This is a strip club." And she gave me a nice flash. Funny, it's more enjoyable to be flashed than to have a lap dance. It feels like you're doing something naughty.
Tom leaned over the table and yelled, "Hey, you're supposed to pay her for that."
Gina wrapped her arms around my neck and replied, "He doesn't have to give me anything."

I could only stay an hour before going back to work. Gina didn't feel like doing any lap dances and I didn't really want one anyway(how many times can I watch the same girl dance?). We talked like old friends that hadn't seen each other in years, with an occasional flash thrown in. She didn't want any money. Just to relax and catch up. It was beautiful.

And then I got back to work and felt stressed. I don't want to be stressed at work. I don't need that in my life. I try and convince myself that work doesn't matter; it's not an important part of my life. It just pays the bills. I try and convince myself of this--but it just doesn't work. Yes, it would be hard financially if I lost this job. But I could collect unemployment and work on other things that mean more to me. Like my novel. Yet I'm still feeling stressed and I don't like this. I need to get out of all this.

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